Reviewed: Prem Ratan Dhan Paayo..!

Our Devil goes wicked on the last Bollywood release..& that too..with such ease…Enjoy a good read..!

REVIEW:

It’s about a 50 year old common man who looks like a 50 year old prince. ‪#‎DoubleTrouble‬. So, prince’s step sister lives in a rented house (which is as big as the Dariya Mahal location at Versova where Zoom Holi parties happen). This one is played by ‪#‎SwaraBhaskar‬ who strangely in this film has a lisp that makes her talk like she has toothpaste in her mouth. Unke toothpaste mein namak ho na ho, dil mein bohot bitterness hai, so she says ‘Do whatever you want man but don’t trouble me’ to Prince who then meets with an accident when his chariot speeds up on a mountain cliff. We see chariot fall, prince fall, horses I presume had an early pack up, so they don’t fall. ‪#‎Revital‬ saves him & he is now locked inside a cave without ventilation, where doctors operate him & save him. His head is not opened up, his face is not scarred, but we know he is critical because that machine keeps beeping & that is sufficient for audience to understand.

Intercut mein, this 50 year old lookalike has the hots for a princess in her 20’s distributing Parle G biscuits to refugees under an NGO called Uphaar Foundation. He wants to meet her & sings a song about everything you get in a ‪#‎Haldiram‬ store, repeatedly in chorus till you feel so nauseous that you start seeing a Haldiram store at some point in the film. But o wait, that’s not nausea, there is ACTUALLY Haldiram integration which Sonam pronounces as Holdiworm, because she is worth it. There is also Pigeon cookware in which all khaana is made & there is a random sexist football match meant to thaw his other step sister. Not ‪#‎NeilNitinMukesh‬. That pretty boy has only two & a half sword fight scenes (which I hope he didn’t send to ‪#‎GameOfThrones‬ guys saying “Sir, see my scene & these are my profiles & I’m available to shoot & not doing competitive brands”)

Sorry, so from what ‪#‎SonamKapoor‬ TRIED to emote, & I hope I am right, she is not happy with prince but when pauper replaces prince, she cant tell the difference & thinks ‘Prince has changed for me, aww!’ Baaki, she cant tell much, her knees will hurt no if she thinks too much. So she is happy singing Same ratan dhan paayo & at one point feeling horny and telling Pauper to write on her back with feather & ink. Royal kinks! tongue emoticon
Anyway, so there is ‪#‎DarbaanKohli‬ & N2M who KNOW that it’s a fake guy, but they don’t do ANYTHING about it till the last 15 minutes of the film. In fact, the prince also KNOWS, but does NOTHING because he is probably waiting for the horses to come at their call time! Meanwhile the lawyer gives away mentions in Switzerland to Swara Bhaskar & I’m thinking mentions, like, Facebook mentions, but no, they are talking about MANSIONS!!! I’m like, Sorry??? They say mansion not!

Quite hontesly, you’ll like it if you are Salman’s fan and I WISH it was not Sonam Kapoor who is so bad you wonder if she thinks of her make up kit being set on fire to give sad reactions.

But for me Suraj Barjatya will be the man who made ‪#‎MainePyarKiya‬ and ‪#‎HumAapkeHaiKoun‬…! I don’t want to remember this Paayo or any of the dubsmashes of the ni ni ni sa sa sa re re re sa sa sa sa sa sa song!

-Gautam H / Devil’s Workshop